For some time now, many of us here in Shalampax have had the feeling that our building is leaning to one side. Most of us ignored this feeling as we assumed that it was merely a result of our near-constant intoxication. However, it turns out that our drunkenness, perception-skewing though it may be, was not the explanation. The building is indeed listing.
This was confirmed when Tornunderwear unexpectedly found herself briefly sober. She wandered down to the basement, hoping beyond hope to find some hooch that someone had inadvertently discarded. Stumbling around in the mess down there, Tornunderwear tripped on a spirit level that someone had left lying on the floor.
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It’s rare to find a Shalampaxian upset about anything because getting upset requires more effort than most Shalampaxians are willing to expend on anything that doesn’t stand a good chance of making them great gobs of money. And, even then there are very narrow limits on how much energy we’re willing to devote to the enterprise.
Nonetheless, the anger in the air around here these days is palpable.
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The automated, dial-in time signal, which was installed in March of this year, has broken. Due to the difficulty in getting parts shipped into Shalampax, it is not known how long it will take to repair it, but it could be a few months.
The system still works in a fashion. Now, instead of saying, “at the tone, it will be exactly six p.m.,” it now says, “ “at the tone, it will be exactly 6:45 p.m.”
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Rottentomato has almost recovered from eating his own food and he expects to be back in full swing coordinating the culinary experience at his restaurant, Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant, by next week.
Rottentomato is very cognizant of the fact that his menu rarely pays tribute to, let alone even barely alludes to Shalampax’s status as an island nation. Recognizing this, on his return, Rottentomato plans to feature filet of sole as his special.
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I’ve been thinking. I haven’t been thinking about anything interesting or relevant to anyone’s life, but thinking is such a rare occurrence for me that I thought I’d mention it.
Have a nice day.
The trash compactor/torpedo firer in the southwest quadrant of the building is broken. Until further notice, if you normally use that garbage chute, please take your garbage to one of the chutes in the other three quadrants of the building.
Or, if you are lazy, i.e., you are a typical Shalampaxian, you can do what I plan to do. Surreptitiously leave your garbage bags in front of your neighbor’s door. Your neighbor will undoubtedly, also surreptitiously, place your garbage, along with his or her garbage, in front of his or her neighbor’s door.
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