Shalampax Speaks

Shows of local artists’ work are rare in Shalampax because few, if any, people here give a fig about art and even fewer can be bothered to create any art pieces. Redherring has proven herself to be an exception.

As the saying goes, they broke the mold when they made Redherring. Although, that was only because, with all of the writhing in agony that Redherring’s mother was doing while giving birth to Redherring, Redherring’s mother and her midwife dislodged the mold that was encrusted on the delivery room table.

Redherring’s new art show, which will be open from 9:00 to 9:12 this Thursday evening, is titled Visions of a Vacuous Void. The room containing the exhibit will be empty and nothing will adorn the walls.

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It has come to my attention that some people outside of Shalampax took serious offense to yesterday’s column by Poopydiaper on the Shalampax school’s computer-generated art contest. In particular, these people found the winning picture, One of Mommy’s Many Special Friends, by Peeonfloor, which depicted a naked man standing “at attention,” if you get my drift, to be especially odious.

Because Shalampaxians’ consider porn to be one of the highest art forms, we have become desensitized to pictures of this nature. And, because it was a line drawing, rather than a photograph, we didn’t think anyone would object.

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