It has been the general practice of The Exalted Coconut, the highest priestly position in the Paahlmist religion, to bless the coconuts of any Shalampaxian who wants his or her coconuts blessed. This is felt to be an innocent pretense at religion by Paahlm worshipers and a good source of revenue for The Exalted Coconut.
The current Exalted Coconut has taken a radical stance. At yesterday’s religious service she refused to sanctify the coconuts that were brought before her.
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I love and worship Paahlm. Don’t you?
How could you not love Paahlm? After all, It created our majestic palm trees in Its image. It then commanded the palm trees to bear forth coconuts.
Paahlm, Glory be It, then sacrificed two of his precious coconuts to create the first humans. Since then, we have depended on Its munificent provision of coconuts to serve political, social, business and dietary purposes.
Most miraculous of all, Paahlm usually holds all of Its coconuts on our palm trees throughout numerous extreme gales until It clears the weather sufficiently for us to venture outside, hold our elections, and then collect the coconuts.
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