Hey peeps, this was almost very embarrassing.
I’ve been catching up on my napping for the last several days. In fact, I had to ask a neighbor what day it was because I thought, correctly, that I might have slept through a couple of days. How my bladder was able to hold up is a mystery that will likely never be solved. (Yes, I checked. My sheets and mattress are dry.)
All of that is irrelevant. The embarrassing part is that when I called into the Shalampax Speaks office I was told that my name was on the docket to provide today’s post.
Read more…
I’ve got great news! I might be fired from my gig as the business writer here at Shalampax Speaks.
If you know anything about Shalampaxians, it probably comes as no surprise to learn that none of us authors here would put ourselves through the effort of writing posts unless our publisher, Birdinhand, had something that he could use against us if we refused.
I’m obviously not going to say what Birdinhand is blackmailing me with, but it’s big. Really big.
Read more…
Is anyone out there? Our blog statistics tell us that a number of people are visiting Shalampax Speaks, but the statistics can’t tell us if you’re actually bothering to read our wonderful words.
Only a few of you have commented our posts. (You know who you are. Thanks!) As a result, we have no idea if the rest of you are enjoying, or even reading, what we’ve written here.
As a rule, Shalampaxians are among the most lazy people in the world. The authors at Shalampax Speaks are not exceptions to that rule. It takes a lot of hard work (any work is hard work to a Shalampaxian) to turn out our powerful prose. If nobody appreciates it, we might be able to talk the people who are forcing us to write this blog into letting us stop.
Read more…
Welcome to the inaugural post in Shalampax Speaks, the official blog of the Republic of Shalampax.
Why, you might ask, is there only one blog for all of Shalampax, a country of 4,242 people? Why doesn’t everyone write his or her own blog? If you can ask those questions then either you know absolutely nothing about Shalampax or you are a complete idiot.
If you know absolutely nothing about Shalampax you can learn more at the official Shalampax Web site. Among other interesting facts, you’ll learn that Shalampaxians are incredibly lazy. In fact, we’re probably the laziest people on earth, with the exception of a few civil servants. They have even us beat when it comes to indolence. Nonetheless, we’ll be lucky to get one good blog going among all of us. More than one is not going to happen. No how. No way.
Read more…
