Shalampax Speaks

This is the time of year when many people, in many parts of the world feverishly shop for Christmas, Chanukah (aka, Hanukkah) and whatever presents. During this joyous spending season, the leaders of Shalampax’s spam companies have asked me to remind you that male enhancement and breast enlarging and firming lotions, potions and contraptions make perfect gifts.

What insecure person on your list wouldn’t want to get the gift of a longer, thicker penis or a larger, firmer breast, as the case may be? So, this festive season, give your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and paramours the present they really want. Give them the porn star body parts they always dreamed of, but were afraid to ask for.

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It’s exciting times at Spams R Us, Inc., Shalampax’s leading spam company. The company expects that sometime today it will send out it’s 680 trillionth spam message.

With the world’s population getting close to 6.8 billion people, that means that, over the course of it’s just eight years in existence, Spams R Us will have sent out an average of more than 1,000 spam emails to every man, woman and child on the planet. Clearly, because not everyone in the world has an email address and because a few of the email addresses that do exist have not yet been harvested by Spams R Us, some people have received thousands, if not tens of thousands of Spams R Us’ messages.

Such a prodigious output from just one of Shalampax’s spam companies is nothing short of amazing. And they’ve done it all at no cost by using hijacked computers around the world that have been turned into spambots. Congratulations to the guys and gals at Spams R Us for reaching this monumental milestone!

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