Capital Punishment Abolished
The Government of Shalampax today announced that it would join the European Union, Canada, Australia and, in fact, the vast majority of countries in the free world in abolishing capital punishment.
This decision is of little practical application as most Shalampaxians are far too lazy to do anything that is considered to be a crime in Shalampax. (Most forms of fraud are not merely legal here, but also vigorously encouraged.) We don’t allow any foreigners to visit our republic so crimes are rarely committed in Shalampax. Thus, there has been little cause for punishment, capital or otherwise.
Before one reads too much into this pronouncement on the part of the government, it should be noted that the decision was not taken for moral, ethical or political reasons. It was purely practical.
