I was not originally scheduled to write today’s post in Shalampax Speaks. However, I asked to take over this space to issue a correction for something I said in the article I published yesterday explaining Christmas and it’s customs to people who were not familiar with the holiday.
Yesterday, I wrote, “Christmas celebrants are expected to take and execute a vow of poverty by maxing out their credit cards to buy lavish gifts for family and friends.” Apparently, that statement is false.
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Many people, in many parts of the world celebrate Christmas today.
I’m a Paahlmist by choice because Paahlmism has more holidays than any other religion. I’m also familiar with all of the cults religions provided by Shalampax’s cult religion companies. However, I must admit, that I’m not familiar with Christianity, the religion that created Christmas.
In my role as spiritual reporter here at Shalampax Speaks, and as a benefit for readers who are, like me until recently, unfamiliar with the meaning and customs of Christmas, I did some research on the holiday. The following is what I found.
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This is the time of year when many people, in many parts of the world feverishly shop for Christmas, Chanukah (aka, Hanukkah) and whatever presents. During this joyous spending season, the leaders of Shalampax’s spam companies have asked me to remind you that male enhancement and breast enlarging and firming lotions, potions and contraptions make perfect gifts.
What insecure person on your list wouldn’t want to get the gift of a longer, thicker penis or a larger, firmer breast, as the case may be? So, this festive season, give your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and paramours the present they really want. Give them the porn star body parts they always dreamed of, but were afraid to ask for.
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