The Church of Paahlm will be holding a bake sale this coming Thursday to raise funds for the Exalted Coconut’s personal slush fund. The sale will be held in the hallway in front of The Third Floor Pub.
It has been more than four months since the church held its last bake sale. The Exalted Coconut felt that it was time for another one because all of the buyers in the last sale have now recuperated from the consequences of consuming the baked goods they purchased.
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That’s it! I’m reading the Riot Act! I would have read it before, but we didn’t have a riot act, so I had to write one.
For the last three days in a row, reporters here at Shalampax Speaks have been writing about and linking to the Church of Infinitiaty. There was even a link to the church’s doctrine on Created Evolution.
These were plugs, plain and simple. There is no excuse for it. Clearly, vested interests were being served. This is completely unacceptable in the news and editorial pages of any respectable journal, whether online or print.
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Many free, democratic countries maintain a separation of church and state. I think that is foolish.
Here in Shalampax, Paahlm, our God, always enters into legislative considerations. To my mind, that is exactly the way it should be. Otherwise, we’d have a lot fewer statutory holidays.
What would be the point of that? I mean, come on. What the hell good is religion if it doesn’t get you lots of time off work?
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The Infinitiaty Church has just announced an inventory-wide Buy One, Get One Free Sin Dispensation Sale. That’s right, if you need to be absolved of some sins, for every dispensation you buy at the full list price you get an additional sin dispensation of equal or lesser value absolutely free.
If you’ve been especially evil, this is a great time to stock up on all of the dispensations you need to gain complete absolution, no matter what you’ve done and no matter how many times you’ve done it. Remember, there is no limit to the number of dispensations you can buy under this deal! For every dispensation you purchase at the full price, you get a second one of equal or lesser value free. No strings attached.
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I don’t think the marketing folks over at Religco ever sleep. It was only a short while ago that they launched the Infinitiaty cult religion. Now, they are busy increasing the revenue potential of Infinitiaty.
Religco or, more precisely, its Infinitiaty subsidiary recently opened the Infinitiaty Church Store. Infinitiaty’s religious leaders encourage believers to show their infinite piety by shopping in this heavenly online store.
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