Mothsmating is Shalampax’s only computer hacker. To be honest, the rest of us are challenged by the on/off switches on our computers.
Not satisfied with the hundreds of millions of dollars she has earned by hacking into the computer systems of banks around the world, and inspired by the enormous success of Shalampax’s cult religion industry, Mothsmating has initiated the planning phase of a scheme to launch her own cult religion.
She is still in the early stages of the design of the cult religion, but the basic premise is that, despite appearances to the contrary, none of us are of flesh, bone and blood. Instead, we are all characters in a massive computer game.
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I previously told you about the brilliant new RexAdvantage donor loyalty program from the Church of Rex. As you’ll no doubt remember, church members accumulate points for every dollar they donate to the church.
Those points can then be used to purchase religious icons consisting of droppings from God Rex’s corporeal likenesses, dogs. The droppings are mounted on various materials depending on the number of points the parishioner chooses to cash in.
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My bailiwick here at Shalampax Speaks is spirituality. I have the greatest of respect for the companies that market Shalampax’s cults religions to the world, but the secrecy of some of those companies can be frustrating, to say the least.
Religco, the largest cult religion corporation in Shalampax, is particularly rigorous in protecting the trade secrets of any cults religions that it has under development. Nonetheless, I did catch wind of one of its upcoming projects. To say it is thrilling would be a gross understatement.
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Spiderinhair, CEO of The Helnoist Church, today announced that the church’s leading televangelist, Fingerinnose, or, as he is known to his Western audiences, Jesus Goldspinner, is resigning. After being convicted in absentia of mail fraud in 37 countries, with indictments pending in a further 24 countries, Fingerinnose thought it best if he kept a low profile for a while.
Fingerinnose will not be totally idle. He has discovered that he as an innate talent for writing and has secured a position with Shalampax’s largest spam operation.
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