Shalampax Speaks

Hi peeps. A couple of weeks ago I told you that, because she had lost so much weight that she could no longer serve as a role model for the rest of us to look up to and feel good about our own obesity and lack of fitness, Tuboflard would lose her job as Chief Medical Officer. Well, my prediction came true. She’s unemployed.

This is a major problem for her because it turns out that, not only were morbid obesity and a sedentary lifestyle her only qualifications for the Chief Medical Officer job, but they were also her only qualifications, period. Tuboflard can’t find another job, but she has herself and her triplets to feed, clothe and house. Her future looked bleak.

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The folks at Spams R Us, the largest spam company in Shalampax and possibly the world, are never satisfied with their success. Bloodynose, CEO of Spams R Us, recently announced that the company will be diversifying by launching a major new division, an inbound call center for companies that want to outsource their customer support functions.

Bloodynose claims that Spams R Us will be able to undercut any company offering the same outsourcing services, even companies operating in low-wage countries. He plans to do this using two ingenious innovations.

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