Day Day
Today is Day Day in Shalampax, a day when we honor no specific national event or person, but rather the very concept of “Day” holidays.
Many countries have Days to celebrate the anniversary of their independence and/or formation. The United States calls its Day “Independence Day.” I’m told that Canada calls its Day “Canada Day” and Australia calls its Day “Australia Day.” Those Canucks and Aussies are so very creative, aren’t they?
Depending on where you live, you might also have Days to commemorate specific individuals, such as “Martin Luther King Day” to celebrate, well, er, Martin Luther King, who was an African-American king or maybe he was just a prince who would have become king had he not been assassinated by some wacko—I’m not sure which; “Saint Patrick’s Day” to honor, a saint named Patrick who invented the color green; or “Victoria Day” to celebrate the long-deceased Queen Victoria. I’m not certain, but I think Queen Victoria founded Victoria’s Secret.
Or you might have a “Day” holiday to celebrate a type of person, such as “President’s Day,” “Mother’s Day,” or “Father’s Day.” We’re considering establishing a “Useless Twit’s Day” here in Shalampax to honor the masses and our politicians. (Those of you who live outside of Shalampax don’t know how lucky you are to have honest, hard-working, intelligent politicians. Then again, ours sleep most of the time, which prevents them from doing too much damage.)
Of course, there are also religious holidays, such as Christmas Day and Groundhog Day.
Then there are the “Day” holidays that celebrate human activities such as, depending on what country you are in, “Labor Day,” “Labour Day,” “Thanksgiving Day,” “Boxing Day” (I’ve never figured out why anyone would celebrate that), “Memorial Day,” and “Remembrance Day.” By the way, I was wondering, are Alzheimer’s patients exempt from Memorial Day and Remembrance Day?
And at least one day of the year, “New Year’s Day,” gets its own Day just for being that day of the year. Why a single, arbitrarily selected temporal demarcation should get its own Day when the 364 other days—or 365 on leap years—don’t is beyond me, but so be it.
But, as far as I know, Shalampax is the only country to have a national holiday to commemorate the very concept of “Day” holidays. It surprising that we are the only place to do this because, what is more cherished by one and all than holidays, particularly holidays when you’re not expected to cook a turkey, give gifts, gather with relatives you hate or feel guilty about anything?
Happy Day Day!
