The Parliament of Shalampax is currently undertaking a thorough review of our nation’s environmental policies. Nothing is finalized yet, but a bold new strategy is being proposed.
The plan is to import significant quantities of the most dirty-burning fuel available, buy several internal combustion engines, and then run those engines non-stop, around the clock. The engines won’t actually drive anything.
Shalampax will then shut off or reduce the operating hours of one or more of the engines in return for other nations buying carbon credits from us.
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Birdinhand was supposed to write this blog post, but he has gone into a deep depression over the fact that his Twitter domination scheme has, so far, not progressed very far. I think a grand total of only about four or five people started following him (Birdinhand2) on Twitter yesterday. (He asked me to thank those four or five people—you know who you are—profusely. Consider yourselves thanked.) That still leaves 3.8 million or so to go to reach his goal.
Ah, poor Birdinhand. Boohoo. Poor baby. Get over it. Wimp!
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Bloodynose, CEO of Spams R Us, Shalampax’s leading spam company recently saw an article on the Web suggesting that, all other things being equal, many consumers favor companies that have well-founded green credentials. Upon seeing this, Bloodynose decided that most of his future spam mailings will include strong messages about the very green lifestyle that he lives.
Needless to say, I was skeptical. To the best of my knowledge, Bloodynose has never shown the slightest inclination toward environmentalism.
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