Shalampax Speaks

Shalampaxians will be observing National Physical Fitness Day today. Of course, Shalampaxians being Shalampaxians, we’ll be observing it from the comfort of our couches, with our feet firmly planted on ottomans and beers always in hand. (Well, that is to say the beer cans will be in our hands. The beers will be in the cans until a few seconds after the cans are opened, after which the beers will be down our throats, into our bellies and then out through our urinary tracts. But you get the picture.)

Observance consists mostly of watching sports on television.

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In an earlier post I inadvertently revealed that the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) at the Shalampax Medical Clinic is a tad obese. That’s a tad obese as in, able to block out the sun’s light when standing 30 paces from the viewer.

She is so fat that she has to grease her sides to squeeze through a standard size door. Even then, she requires the help of a several people to push her through.

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