The Excitement Continues to Build
Peeps, are you as excited as I am?
I’m sorry. Of course, you can’t answer that until you know how excited I am. Well, let me tell you. I’m a guy and about as manly a man as you’ll find in Shalampax, which, admittedly, is not saying much, but my nipples are erect. That’s how electrified I am!
I almost forgot, I haven’t told you yet why I’m so keyed up, have I?
We’re getting close, peeps. We’re really getting close!
MadMadMargo, Marie and Openfly have all emailed me the complete analysis of their respective DNA sequences that they received back from the labs. I’ve emailed those results to a leading genomics expert in Geneva.
The genomics expert will compare Marie’s and MadMadMargo’s genomes to see if Marie is MadMadMargo’s mother.
The genomics expert will also look at Openfly’s DNA to identify any uniquely Shalampaxian genes. If MadMadMargo has any of those genes then one of her parents must be Shalampaxian. Presumably that parent would be her father, but the expert will also search Marie’s DNA to make sure she doesn’t have any Shalampaxian genes. If she does, that would mean that she is somehow Shalampaxian and could have passed those genes to MadMadMargo, which would put a whole new spin on things.
Because the work of decoding Marie’s, Openfly’s and MadMadMargo’s DNA has already been done, I’m told that we can have the results concerning MadMadMargo’s parentage in a matter of days! Yes peeps, my nipples are still erect!
That’s it for now, peeps. If all goes according to plan—not always a good bet in Shalampax—the next time one of my columns appears in this space I should have some answers for you. I don’t know about you, but I’m on pins and needles. Not only that, but I’ve also got to put on a looser fitting shirt so my nipples won’t show.
