Shalampax Speaks

Hey peeps, I’ve got some earth-shattering gossip for you. Manexposinghimself, Shalampax’s Prime Minister, isn’t saying much about it publicly, but his friends tell me that he has come up with a foolproof plan for bringing about lasting world peace. And I’m not talking about only eliminating wars. Manexposinghimself’s plan would also end localized fighting among groups, one-on-one violence, and just bitchy, vociferous arguments as well.

If carried through to fruition, this infallible peace plan would absolutely guarantee that Manexposinghimself will be awarded next year’s Nobel Peace Prize. There wouldn’t even be a contest.

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Listen up, my peeps! Moleonnurse’snose, a sporadic knitter, a world-renowned perjurer and the only Shalampaxian female to have exposed her naked body to a non-Shalampaxian male without inducing vomiting is rumored to be sleeping around. Or, I should say, she’s rumored to be sleeping a round.

Promiscuity and adultery have long been rampant and thoroughly enjoyed here in Shalampax, but Moleonnurse’snose puts a new spin on it. Word is, she’s having affairs with people in every third-floor apartment that has a piece of the outer wall of the Shalampax building.

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