Shalampax Speaks

Sign of our Lords

Religco, Shalampax’s largest cult religion company, recently launched the ultimate cult religion. Take my word for it, this one is going to blow away all other religions. No doubt about it.

Not to steal too much of the thunder from Religco’s marketing campaign, I’ll just say that this new cult religion, Infinitiaty, doesn’t believe in one god, two gods or even a small number of gods. It believes in an infinite number of Gods.

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Paahlmism is the official religion of Shalampax. Most Shalampaxians do a very good job of feigning a practice of Paahlmism, but they do it primarily to get the holidays. There’s nothing wrong with that; I too do whatever it takes to get extra holidays. Nonetheless, few Shalampaxians truly believe in Paahlm in their heart of hearts.

The reason for Shalampaxians’ skepticism is that few of them have tangibly heard the voice of Paahlm. Yet, this is a failure on their part, not on the part of our Lord, Paahlm.

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