Four of Shalampax’s spam companies have begun to invoke the name of Joel Klebanoff as a “celebrity” endorsement for their male enhancement products. They are doing so because, as of June 18, 2009, Google listed him as number one for “world’s thickest penis” and number five for “world’s longest penis”.
Klebanoff was not available for comment because I couldn’t be bothered to try to get in touch with him. In addition, I’ve been told that he’s a total jerk and nobody in his or her right mind would want to converse with him. What’s more, considering his claim to fame, he’s almost certainly too busy jerking off to take time to talk to me.
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Spams R Us, Inc., the leading spam company in Shalampax, announced its financial results today. Despite the global economic downturn, profits are way up.
A spokesman for Spams R Us attributed the company’s good fortune to a number of factors:
- The fake Nigerian inheritance scam spam had died off for a while, but it was successfully resurrected last quarter.
- Spams R Us has penetrated the porn market more deeply than it had in the past.
- The profitability of spam that promotes Viagra substitutes has risen very firmly.
- Male and female enhancement spam profits are enlarging.
- Spam promoting courses teaching how to get more sex is showing mixed results. The department that generates such spam directed at women is blossoming, but the men are just holding their own.
Spams R Us is very confident that it will be able to continue to grow its profits in the future. In order to get the word out to anyone and everyone who might be interested in investing in the company, Spams R. Us plans to send out more than 250 million emails notifying people of the company’s financial results.
