I need to start this post with an apology. I’m a few days late publishing this official proclamation. I’m sorry.
Manexposinghimself, our Prime Minister, has declared November to be National Don’t Pick Your Nose Month. For the entire month of November, Shalampaxians caught picking their noses will be fined $50 per occurrence, no exceptions.
Because I was late publishing this notice, the government has agreed to not issue fines for anyone caught before today. However, there is no grace period from this point forward.
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Peeps, you will not believe this! Openfly, the closest anyone in Shalampax comes to being a celebrity, was caught yesterday picking her nose.
That’s right, picking her nose! She was seen with the forefinger of her right hand tunneling deep inside her right nostril. She wiggled her digit around for a full minute or two, trying to dig something out. My source tells me that she eventually pulled out the biggest booger my source has ever seen.
When confronted with allegations of the incident, Openfly reluctantly admitted that it had occurred. “I’m so embarrassed,” she whimpered, tears streaming from her eyes. “Believe me, I have never sunk so low before and it is not something that I will ever repeat.”
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