Paahlmism is the official religion of Shalampax. Most Shalampaxians do a very good job of feigning a practice of Paahlmism, but they do it primarily to get the holidays. There’s nothing wrong with that; I too do whatever it takes to get extra holidays. Nonetheless, few Shalampaxians truly believe in Paahlm in their heart of hearts.
The reason for Shalampaxians’ skepticism is that few of them have tangibly heard the voice of Paahlm. Yet, this is a failure on their part, not on the part of our Lord, Paahlm.
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I love and worship Paahlm. Don’t you?
How could you not love Paahlm? After all, It created our majestic palm trees in Its image. It then commanded the palm trees to bear forth coconuts.
Paahlm, Glory be It, then sacrificed two of his precious coconuts to create the first humans. Since then, we have depended on Its munificent provision of coconuts to serve political, social, business and dietary purposes.
Most miraculous of all, Paahlm usually holds all of Its coconuts on our palm trees throughout numerous extreme gales until It clears the weather sufficiently for us to venture outside, hold our elections, and then collect the coconuts.
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