Shalampax Speaks

Religco launched its Infinitiaty cult religion only a short time ago, but it is already a tremendous success, gathering a steady stream of believers daily. Despite the newness and success of Infinitiaty, the Sages of Infinitiaty are already considering a revision to the theology underlying the cult’s religion’s core belief system.

As you know, Infinitiaty is founded on the principle that nothing can come into existence without something causing it to have come into existence. Thus, there must be a god who created our God. And there must be a god who created that god. And so on into an infinite regress of gods. The impossibility of a causeless cause demands no less.

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There is nothing more uplifting than the soul of a being of flesh and blood that rises up high above its corporeal body to experience life on a far loftier plane.

There is nothing more beautiful than two souls who have merged in a bond of everlasting, unconditional, true love to form a single whole that is far more sublime than the sum of its previously separate parts could ever be.

There is nothing more glorious than the melding of the collective spirits of a people of mutual faith who unite in a fellowship of humanity unified through a pure energy that exudes peace and love.

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Hey peeps, I’ve got some earth-shattering gossip for you. Manexposinghimself, Shalampax’s Prime Minister, isn’t saying much about it publicly, but his friends tell me that he has come up with a foolproof plan for bringing about lasting world peace. And I’m not talking about only eliminating wars. Manexposinghimself’s plan would also end localized fighting among groups, one-on-one violence, and just bitchy, vociferous arguments as well.

If carried through to fruition, this infallible peace plan would absolutely guarantee that Manexposinghimself will be awarded next year’s Nobel Peace Prize. There wouldn’t even be a contest.

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