On Wednesday, in Meeting room 2B, Toiletoverflowing will hold the second in his sporadically continuing series of wildly unpopular philosophy lectures. The title of this week’s talk is “On Being and Nothingness.”
In case you are thinking of attending, I’ll save you the trouble. I have his complete lecture notes and I’m going to reveal them here, because that’s the sharing, caring sort of guy I am.
The first half of Toiletoverflowing’s lecture, On Being, will be comprised entirely of him entering the room and standing silently at the front.
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Toiletoverflowing, one of the few people in Shalampax to have ever read a book, gave a talk on philosophy yesterday. In attendance, in fact, the sole audience member, was Dustball, Shalampax’s official and only statistician.
Considering Toiletoverflowing’s renowned speaking skills, it is not surprising that Dustball slept through most of the lecture. Few are as tedious as Toiletoverflowing and none surpass him when it comes to presenting a monotonous and irksome speech.
Nevertheless, some of Toiletoverflowing’s words did manage to penetrate the veil of sleep and entered Dustball’s subconscious. Toiletoverflowing droned on unheard by man nor beast until he reached the philosophy of René Descartes. The utterance of Descartes’ words “Cogito, ergo sum,” which Toiletoverflowing helpfully translated to the famous ,”I think, therefore I am,” jolted Dustball awake.
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