Shalampax Speaks

I have some absolutely fabulous news, peeps! Lightningstrikingtree has committed suicide.

In a suicide note, Lightningstrikingtree admitted that he had fathered Tuboflard’s triplets and the shame of having boinked her was too much for him to bear. Lightningstrinkingtree’s note cast no light on how he was able to impregnate Tuboflard without, according to her, her knowing about it. However, he did say in his note that, and I quote, “it was good for me.”

Why is this fabulous news? There are a number of reasons, including the following: Read more…

Peeps, isn’t it always the way? I finally get a break from covering the ongoing Openfly saga, and what happens? My first two reports are on one person. This time it’s our massively larger than life chief medical officer at the Shalampax Medical Clinic, Tuboflard. I hope I’m not getting into another rut, but this news is too important to ignore.

Before I tell you what’s happening, I need to put a little background info out there. Those of you who are keeping count will know that Shalampax has been two people below its strict population allocation of 4,242 since the deaths Brushontable and Burnedoutlightbulb, .

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