The Government of Shalampax has decided that, in the future, it won’t be picking pockets as frequently or deeply to cover the education portion of the government’s budget. As a result, the school board is forced to reduce spending on it’s programs.
Effective immediately, the Shalampax School’s sex education courses will suffer the following cutback: The school will no longer supply condoms for the in-depth workshop portions of the course. Students will be required to bring their own.
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I have just uncovered some astounding information. As is the case in Shalampax, many school boards around the world include sex education as part of their curriculum, although the grade at which it is introduced varies.
That’s not the shocking news. I’ve done considerable research on the Web and I’ve found, much to my amazement, that it seems as though the Shalampax school board is the only one that includes extensive use of porn videos and hands-on labs as part of the sex education courses it teaches to youngsters.
There are many things about the outside world that baffle me, but this takes the cake. How will teenagers ever learn superior sex positions and moves if not through extensive study of porn and by practicing what they learn in a supervised, coached environment? I shutter to think of the implications that this has for the sexual prowess of people elsewhere. They must be really lousy in bed.
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The Shalampax school board firmly believes that students understand and remember their lessons better when they “learn by doing” rather than by listening to teachers’ drone on in front of the class. This is particularly true here in Shalampax because most of our teachers don’t know what the hell they are talking about.
To facilitate this learn-by-doing approach, the school board is now advertising for instructors for hands-on labs that it will be adding to its sex education courses in the upcoming school term. There is an opening for one male and one female lab leader.
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Due to the frightening potential for our teenagers to become infected with sexually transmitted diseases, the Shalampax school board has decided to include a sex education course in it’s curriculum. Despite this being a touchy issue (please curb your inclination to insert a cheap, juvenile pun here), our educators felt that this was the right decision to make.
No matter how much we may or may not wish it to be otherwise, some teenagers will experiment with sex. It is, therefore, important that they be made aware of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases, not to mention pregnancy.
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