Shalampax Speaks

There’s word of a shocking sex scandal to tell you about, peeps. Once again, shame has tainted Brokentoaster, a backbench Member of Parliament.

You might recall that his name made news a while back as a result of an expenses scandal in which it was discovered that Brokentoaster was a hopeless underachiever when it came to bilking the government through fraudulent expense claims.

This time, Brokentoaster, who is married and, to the best of his recollection, has one or two children, was found to be having an affair. Affairs are not normally news here in Shalampax, but Brokentoaster’s case is a little out of the ordinary.

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The Shalampax School Board released a terse statement yesterday stating that it had terminated the employment of one of its teachers for having had sex with one of her students. The school board refused to disclose the teacher’s name because of possible legal ramifications and because it did not want the teacher’s voice mail to be overwhelmed with pleading calls from horny men.

The student, whose name was also withheld for privacy reasons, was a 17-year-old, grade-eight pupil. He was one of the youngest in his class of 27 students.

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