It’s been a very long time since anyone has posted here. I’m sorry about that. Due to a sudden outbreak of mass hysteria, no one felt like writing anything.
That’s a bit misleading, isn’t it? No one in Shalampax has ever felt like writing anything because it is too much like work. But, in the past, we usually couldn’t come up with an adequate excuse to overrule the blackmail that the Prime Minister threatened to use against us if we refused to perform our blogging duties.
Recently, either good fortune or widespread insanity—it’s often difficult to distinguish between the two—gave us an ironclad excuse. Work became against our religion. Literally. And for most of my compatriots it still is.
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Hi peeps. I’m sorry about being negligent in publishing transcripts of the recordings of Openfly’s conversations with Marie. I haven’t been able to get anyone to pay to have the transcriptions done. I funded the first few out of my own pocket, but enough’s enough.
I convinced Openfly to pay for this transcription, but she didn’t commit to covering the cost of any more, so I can’t promise when I’ll be able to publish the next one.
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The following note is intended solely for Shalampaxians. Everyone else is free to ignore it. That should be easy because Shalampax Speaks is always widely ignored.
There’s no mistaking it. Love is definitely in the air here in Shalampax.
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A time-use survey was recently conducted among a random sampling of 150 Shalampaxians. All 150 participants were asked to keep track of the time they spent on various activities over the course of a week. Their logs were then collected and daily averages were compiled.
As can be seen from the following table and pie chart, Shalampaxians slept an average of 8.9 hours per day, making sleep the biggest single consumer of Shalampaxians’ time.
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Hi, peeps. I’m still waiting for the DNA reports to see if any of the guys who submitted samples are MadMadMargo’s father. So I have no more news to report on that front yet. I know the suspense is probably eating away at you, particularly MadMadMargo, but we’ll just have to be patient.
Meanwhile, back in California, Openfly and Marie are getting along famously. They seem to have become best friends forever.
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The information presented below is for the benefit of Shalampaxians and anyone else who has been operating under the same misconception as we have been operating under for a great many years.
It has come to my attention that Wednesday received its nickname because it is in the exact middle of the traditional workweek. I.e., it is called “hump day” because it is the day that we “get over the hump” of the workweek.
Contrary to popular Shalampaxian belief, “hump day” is not a prescription for personal activities on Wednesdays. However, if you want to continue to have sex as frequently as possible on Wednesdays, feel free to do so as long as it is between consenting adults.
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