The owners, management and staff of the Shalampax Grocery Store have asked me to pass along an important message to their customers.
As regular shoppers are no doubt aware, the Shalampax Grocery Store sells a number of private label items. The store imports these goods in bulk and then repackages them in containers bearing the store’s own labels. The store usually offers at least one such product at a special sale price each month.
Last month’s special was labeled as:
La Gourmande du Shalampax
Pâté de Foie de Poulet
Delicious pâté made from the livers of organically fed free-range chickens.
When Fingerupnose, the store’s stock clerk, went to the storeroom to prepare this month’s private label special he was shocked to notice that the pâté vat, which should have been empty owning to the success of last month’s special, was completely full. Fingerupnose assumed that, unbeknownst to him, the store must have imported two vats of pâté rather than only one.
The pâté on the shelves sold out quickly last month, so Fingerupnose lamented the sales that were lost due to the second vat being overlooked. Then he got to the vat containing this week’s special. He stopped in his tracks and gasped when he realized what had happened.
The vat was empty. Clearly, last month’s “pâté” had been taken from the wrong vat.
This week’s private label special, which is obviously no longer available, was to be sold as:
Shalampax GreenThumb
Fertilizer
High-quality manure made from the excrement of organically fed dogs.
Yes, last month’s “pâté” was in fact dog shit; high-quality dog shit, to be sure, but dog shit nonetheless.
Considering that there is no farming done here in Shalampax and none of us have gardens or even houseplants, I have no idea as to why the Shalampax Grocery Store stocked the manure. Then again, I have no experience in any retail business, so I would never presume to tell the folks there how to run their store.
The long and the short of it is that, apparently, even with the Shalampax Grocery Store’s new, high tech inventory control system, accidents can happen.
The mistake was regrettable, but these things happen. And, when they do, the true test of the integrity of a company is how it deals with the gaffe after it has been made. How far will it go to make things right? The Shalampax Grocery Store is second to none in this regard.
Anyone who bought the manure that had been labeled as pâté can return it to the store for a full refund.
There are only a few of conditions. It is lamentable, but there are a number of Shalampaxians who are not entirely trustworthy. Therefore, to prevent fraud, the returned product must be in its original, unopened packaging, with none of the protective seals broken. In addition, the purchaser must show a valid store receipt indicating the price that was paid for the faux “pâté.”
Once these conditions have been met, the purchaser will receive a full cash reimbursement, less a $5.00 handling fee to cover the cost of processing the refund. Who could ask for anything more?
