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Posts Tagged ‘slob’

Decorating Naturally

December 27th, 2009 2 comments

Yesterday, I attended another of Emptybucket’s exceptionally superfluous, dreary talks. Yesterday’s subject was “Using Dust, Dust Bunnies, Grime and Soap Scum as Decorative Elements.”

Emptybucket contends that these materials are perfect for home decoration, but too many people misuse them. Rather than over-thinking and over-working your home decoration projects, you should, according to Emptybucket, just let the dust, dust bunnies, grime and soap scum lie where they fall, thereby creating a much more natural decorative motif.

Emptybucket criticized people who use sponges, mops, rags, cleansers and water to alter their collection of dust, dust bunnies, grime and soap scum, thereby giving the resulting decoration an artificial feel. “Natural is definitely the way to go in home decorating,” exclaimed Emptybucket.

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Cleaning Day

June 24th, 2009 8 comments

For the 42nd year running, Shalampax’s annual “Clean Your Apartment Day” has been cancelled due to pervasive slothfulness, universal slobbishness, and an overall lack of interest. Please feel free to allow your filth to accumulate for another year.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

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