Spams R Us has come up with an exciting new contest that you are definitely going to want to get in on. The best part is that there is no purchase necessary and no entry fee. In fact, there is no cost to you whatsoever.
Here’s how it works: People say that there is a sucker born every minute. Well, now you can profit from all of those suckers without having to bear the bother and risk of defrauding them yourself. Collect the names, postal addresses, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and credit card information of 100 suckers. Send that information to Spams R Us. It’s that simple.
Once Spams R Us has confirmed that the 100 people on your list are, indeed, suckers, your name will be entered into a draw for a grand prize of $1 million. That’s right; $1 million!
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Bloodynose, CEO of Spams R Us, Shalampax’s leading spam company recently saw an article on the Web suggesting that, all other things being equal, many consumers favor companies that have well-founded green credentials. Upon seeing this, Bloodynose decided that most of his future spam mailings will include strong messages about the very green lifestyle that he lives.
Needless to say, I was skeptical. To the best of my knowledge, Bloodynose has never shown the slightest inclination toward environmentalism.
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I have shocking news, peeps!
The rumors are too widespread to be ignored. It seems that Discardedporkrind has been running a classic Ponzi scheme. The word is that thousands of people have been bilked, including some Shalampaxians, but mostly foreigners.
If the claims are to be believed, and there is every reason to believe that they should be, Discardedporkrind has taken in roughly $100 million, over and above the meager funds he paid out to keep early “investors” interested.
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