This notice is for Shalampaxians only. The rest of you can feel free to stop reading and make something of your lives instead.
I have good news and I have bad news. We finally got a long enough break in the weather to unload the supply ship that has been waiting at sea for more than a month.
The good news is that this means that we’ve been able to replenish our depleted toilet paper inventory. That’s very timely as we had almost run out of the copies of the Shalampax Criminal Code that we’ve been using as a substitute for toilet paper.
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There is something of a crisis shaping up in here Shalampax. We are running out of toilet paper. It would seem that Shalampaxians have recently been even crappier than usual. As a result, our shopkeeper was caught unawares by this situation.
A supply ship sitting about 150 kilometers off our shore is carrying, among other provisions, a large shipment of toilet paper. The ship’s captain is waiting for the weather to clear sufficiently for us to assemble one of our temporary docks. Our climate being what it is, that might be anywhere from a few days up to a few months from now.
Normally, we would risk building the dock in less than perfect weather. Unfortunately, we are also running short of the supplies required to build it. We only have enough to assemble one.
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