Shalampax Speaks

The trash compactor/torpedo firer in the southwest quadrant of the building is broken. Until further notice, if you normally use that garbage chute, please take your garbage to one of the chutes in the other three quadrants of the building.

Or, if you are lazy, i.e., you are a typical Shalampaxian, you can do what I plan to do. Surreptitiously leave your garbage bags in front of your neighbor’s door. Your neighbor will undoubtedly, also surreptitiously, place your garbage, along with his or her garbage, in front of his or her neighbor’s door.

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Walking the business beat around here, I usually reserve this space to fill you in on any big deals going down in Shalampax or to tell you about our major industries. Not today.

Today, I’m going to tell you about our smallest industry. It has only one firm and its revenues are miniscule. In short, it’s pathetic and an embarrassment to any true Shalampaxian.

Paperplate runs The Shalampax Store, which sells … wait for it … Shalampax souvenirs.

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