Shalampax Speaks

It took her a long time, but Tuboflard has finally found names for her triplets.

As I told you last time, she was eager to give one of them the coolest name ever in Shalampax, Lightningstrikingtree. As you’ll remember, the previous Lightningstrikingtree gave up his rights to that name by committing suicide. Coincidentally, the original Lightningstrikingtree was allegedly—according to his suicide note—the father of the triplets, although Tuboflard claims to have no recollection of having had sex with him or anyone else.

The custom here in Shalampax is for parents to name their children after the first thing they see after the child’s birth, provided that the name isn’t already taken by a living Shalampaxian. Dead Shalampaxians are OK because they are in no condition to complain.

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Peeps, isn’t it always the way? I finally get a break from covering the ongoing Openfly saga, and what happens? My first two reports are on one person. This time it’s our massively larger than life chief medical officer at the Shalampax Medical Clinic, Tuboflard. I hope I’m not getting into another rut, but this news is too important to ignore.

Before I tell you what’s happening, I need to put a little background info out there. Those of you who are keeping count will know that Shalampax has been two people below its strict population allocation of 4,242 since the deaths Brushontable and Burnedoutlightbulb, .

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