Cult Manual: Cult Revenue Streams

There are a number of ways for your cult to generate revenue. Use as many of the following as possible to create steady, continuous, rich cash flows.

Whether you've set yourself up as the cult's deity or a prophet with a direct link to the deity, constantly bombard your followers with the message that, in order to fulfill your holy duties and rise to a higher spiritual plane, which your followers can reach on your coattails, you require the corporeal trappings of luxury, such as top-of-the-line corporate jets, richly furnished mansions scattered around the world and a really, really, really extensive and stylish wardrobe. Make sure that your followers understand that they must send you funds, not goods because, because few Shalampaxians can step off the island without being arrested by the first country they set foot in, you'll have little use for the jets or mansions, but don't tell your followers that last bit.

Make your cult's rules for living impossible to follow consistently throughout people's lives. Then sell the guilty (meaning everyone) dispensations that will keep them out of hell.

Charge dues for membership in your cult. And don't forget to set up a building fund and seek large donations to it; after all, God deserves a nice house, doesn't he?

Religious icons are always a good business. Imbue your cult with lots of symbols that can be turned into high margin trinkets and trash.

Encourage your followers to buy your cult's religious icons, tithe to the church or, preferably, donate their life's savings, and to make any other payments using one of only two methods: credit cards or electronic funds transfer. A credit card is easiest because once you get the credit card number you can run the card up to its limit if the follower foolishly chooses to not send you everything he or she has.

Electronic funds transfer is a little more problematic because you need the follower's account number and password to deplete his or her account, but if you can get that information it's even better than a credit card because it can give you direct access to cash. One way to finesse the required information out of your followers is to find out in advance which banks they deal with. Then set up phony Web sites that look exactly like the legitimate banks' sites. On your cult's donation Web page, offer to simplify your followers' lives by providing links directly to their banks' sites. Of course, those links will go to your phony sites where you'll capture the information necessary to siphon your followers' accounts.

For those paranoid people who won't send you money by credit card or electronic funds transfer because their paranoia induces them to fear that we might be scamming them (yes, there are a few intelligent people in the world), you can use a mail-forwarding service to give your cult a legitimate-looking physical address.

See also:

Privacy Promise

	Republic of Shalampax An Inane Island in an Insane World