Dafernyx Sightings
The frequency of Dafernyx sightings has risen
substantially recently. Our teachings tell us that this is a sign of
either the second coming of Dafernyx or a massive increase of drug use
in the world. Acolytes are unclear as to which it might be.
The following are some of the more believable reports:
- Several people
around the world, in cities as varied as Paris, Shanghai, Cairo, New
York, Lima, Sydney, Cape Town, Los Angeles, Tokyo and Toronto, claim
to have witnessed Dafernyx posing as a vagrant in disheveled clothes
begging for alms. Many scholars dispute these assertions as Dafernyx is known to be
a snappy dresser and, being almost omnipotent and able to create
anything he wants, not at all in the need of funds. Others give
credence to the reports because they exactly fulfill a prophesy of
our sacred texts. As it is written in the Book of the Return, when
Dafernyx returns to earth, "He shall look upon the passing
nonbelievers. Lamenting the evil He sees, He shall rend his clothes, subside upon the ground
and call out for change."
- Many
repeat visitors to Disneyland report that Mickey Mouse was a different
height on their second visit than on their first. Dafernyx has a great
love of mirth. Mickey Mouse is so recognizable that impersonating him
convincingly would be next to impossible, thus the fake Mickey can be
none other than Dafernyx. How Dafernyx gets the real Mickey Mouse out
of the way on the days when Dafernyx is having His fun is unknown.
- In
the middle of the monsoon season, a truck driving through the streets
of Mumbai splashed mud on a wall. Before the rain washed the mud off, a
passerby noticed that it had formed a pattern that looked vaguely like
an outline of Dafernyx's shape. It is now accepted that, at that time,
Dafernyx had been standing in front of the wall wearing his
invisibility cloak. The mud splashed on him, leaving his outline on the
wall behind. Consequently, the truck driver is likely to be one of the
left-behinds when Dafernyx destroys the earth, unless, of course, the
truck driver makes some serious contributions to the Church of Dafernyx.
- Many
people claim that Dafernyx is working in the White House, possibly even
as President.
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