Welcome to Shalampax
Welcome to the official Web site of the glorious and good Republic of Shalampax™.
Explore our history, geography, religion, culture, economy and other characteristics.
Just don't expect to find any tourist information. We really, really, really
hate outsiders and wish you would all stay far away and leave us alone.
We frequently add information and news to this site. Please remember to
bookmark it and come back often to learn what's new and to find the hidden
gems that you will undoubtedly miss on your first 137 visits. Yes, we have
hidden a few page links in unobvious places to reward people who spend
some time hunting for links. Sly, huh?
|Did you know ...
In a recent global survey asking non-Shalampaxians about their opinions of Shalampax,
- 14% answered, "Huh?."
- 12% answered, "Where?."
- 7% answered, "I don't know."
- 3% answered, "If I ever get hold of one of those Shalampaxians I'll skin them alive."
- 64% answered "If one more goddamn lousy telemarketer calls me conducting
another freaking survey I'll skin them alive.
We Shalampaxians take some, but not much pride in our flag. It was designed
in 1967 as a nursery school arts & crafts project. The designer never
made it past kindergarten.
The happy face on a blue background in the upper half of the flag represents
our joy on fair weather days, which are exceptionally rare. The lower frowning
face on a green background represents our remorse over the frequent occasions
when the sea inundates our little-beloved island. The flag is flown somewhat
proudly and is worn on clothing available, at popular prices, from the Shalampaxian Web store.
It is illegal to wipe your bottom with the flag, but pretty much anything
Prior to 1967 the Shalampaxian flag was a dishrag that washed up on our
© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc. and Joel Klebanoff, 2007-2012. All rights reserved.
Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.