Buy Shalampax souvenirs
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If you rent a very large room, for example, an arena, and fill it with nothing but legitimate Ph.D. holders from Shalampax (excluding those who who actually paid money to buy their degrees on the Web) you'll create a perfect vacuum.
We Shalampaxians take some, but not much pride in our flag. It was designed in 1967 as a nursery school arts & crafts project. The designer never made it past kindergarten.
The happy face on a blue background in the upper half of the flag represents
our joy on fair weather days, which are exceptionally rare. The lower frowning
face on a green background represents our remorse over the frequent occasions
when the sea inundates our little-beloved island. The flag is flown somewhat
proudly and is worn on clothing available, at popular prices, from the Shalampaxian Web store.
It is illegal to wipe your bottom with the flag, but pretty much anything else goes.
Prior to 1967 the Shalampaxian flag was a dishrag that washed up on our rocky shore.