Welcome to Shalampax

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Welcome to the official Web site of the glorious and good Republic of Shalampax™. Explore our history, geography, religion, culture, economy and other characteristics. Just don't expect to find any tourist information. We really, really, really hate outsiders and wish you would all stay far away and leave us alone.

We frequently add information and news to this site. Please remember to bookmark it and come back often to learn what's new and to find the hidden gems that you will undoubtedly miss on your first 137 visits. Yes, we have hidden a few page links in unobvious places to reward people who spend some time hunting for links. Sly, huh?

Did you know ... The language in Shalampax is English, but it has been augmented with 27 different words describing varying degrees of boredom.

We Shalampaxians take some, but not much pride in our flag. It was designed in 1967 as a nursery school arts & crafts project. The designer never made it past kindergarten.

The happy face on a blue background in the upper half of the flag represents our joy on fair weather days, which are exceptionally rare. The lower frowning face on a green background represents our remorse over the frequent occasions when the sea inundates our little-beloved island. The flag is flown somewhat proudly and is worn on clothing available, at popular prices, from the Shalampaxian Web store.

It is illegal to wipe your bottom with the flag, but pretty much anything else goes.

Prior to 1967 the Shalampaxian flag was a dishrag that washed up on our rocky shore.

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Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.