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Republic of Shalampax An Inane Island in an Insane World |
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Republic of Shalampax An Inane Island in an Insane World |
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The following chart is a partial list of dispensation fees for buying salvation from the Infinitiaty church after committing a sin against one or more of the infinite number of Gods' hygiene commandments.
Not all Gods have commandments regarding hygiene. In fact, many of them are complete slobs and couldn't care less about such things. However, with an infinite number of Gods, every action that affects your personal hygiene, regardless of whether you think that action has a positive or negative effect, is bound to be a sin against at least one of the Gods. For this reason, the following can be, at best, only a partial list that enumerates only an infinitesimal portion of the possible sins. Please contact the Church of Infinitiaty and enquire about the cost of dispensation for the sins of your specific hygiene actions.
For a definition of the contents of the following table's columns, please see the Infinitiaty Dispensations main page. There, you will also find dispensation package deals that cover dispensation for bundles of sins and monthly dispensation subscriptions that can be used for multiple sins across sin categories.
The prices below are quoted per occurrence of the listed sin.
| Sin | Sin Level | God# | Dispensation Price |
| Blowing your nose on your hand. | 3 | 48059827 | $25.32 |
| Blowing your nose on your sleeve. | 2 | 47681278373872847 | $175.21 |
| Blowing the contents of your nose out onto the street. | 3 | 7 | $0.83 |
| Blowing your nose onto a paper facial tissue. | 1 | 837978242 | #25.10 |
| Blowing your nose onto a cloth handkerchief. | 1 | 42297198799 | $37.56 |
| Blowing your right nostril before your left. | 1 | 9379734187 | $5.95 |
| Blowing your left nostril before your right. | 2 | 48299847 | $32.25 |
| Doing blow through your left nostril. | 3 | 83696766768 | $42.87 |
| Doing blow through your right nostril. | 3 | 83696766768 | $42.87 |
| Doing blow through both of your nostrils at once. | 4 | 83696766768 | $65.72 |
| Wearing the same shirt/blouse for two days without washing it. | 2 | 82938 | $28.92 |
| Wearing a shirt/blouse for less than two days before washing it. | 2 | 2 | $0.12 |
| Not washing behind your ears at least once a day. | 3 | 387918829872 | $98.32 |
| Not washing behind your ears at least five times a day. | 2 | 3879712 | $13.56 |
| Not washing behind your ears at least 42 times a day. | 1 | 424828742 | $14.12 |
| Never washing behind your ears. | 2 | 3422 | $17.94 |
| Washing behind your ears even once in your lifetime. | 1 | 9278787986768876886 2387987988789878788 3879098799872879879 3871 |
$295.02 |
| Not washing after urinating (without urinating on your hands). | 4 | 837978274 | $143.23 |
| Not washing after urinating on your hands. | 2 | 2698687 | $65.98 |
| Not washing after defecating (without defecating on your hands). | 4 | 286186341 | $103.87 |
| Not washing after defecating on your hands. | 3 | 746986986 | $104.89 |
| Not washing after urinating and defecating on your hands. | 2 | 384682 | $14.32 |
| Urinating on your hands. | 1 | 4 | $0.23 |
| Not urinating on your hands at least once a day. | 2 | 9278787986768876886 2387987988789878788 3879098799872879879 3871 |
$395.03 |
| Defecating on your hands. | 1 | 4872987 | $17.76 |
| Not defecating on your hands at least once a day. | 2 | 9278787986768876886 2387987988789878788 3879098799872879879 3871 |
$395.03 |
| Washing after urinating or defecating on your hands. | 5 | 9278787986768876886 2387987988789878788 3879098799872879879 3871 |
$2,595.95 |
| Washing any part of your body with soap. | 2 | 3764198 | $27.42 |
| Washing any part of your body with soap and water. | 4 | 83196 | $40.11 |
| Washing any part of your body with water, but no soap. | 1 | 3761948689868 | $40.12 |
| Washing any part of your body with an alcohol-based cleanser and then drinking it. | |||
| Washing with human urine. | 3 | 1938479 | $40.32 |
| Washing with non-human urine. | 1 | 38479673 | $25.21 |
| Spilling mustard on an item of clothing you are wearing. | 2 | 837897 | $18.67 |
| Spilling mustard on your own bare skin. | 3 | 837897 | $23.23 |
| Spilling mustard on an item of clothing someone else is wearing. | 3 | 837897 | $23.23 |
| Spilling mustard on your someone else's bare skin. | 4 | 837897 | $28.72 |
| Spilling semen on an item of clothing you are wearing. | 1 | 837897 | $13.38 |
| Spilling semen on your own bare skin. | 2 | 837897 | $18.67 |
| Spilling semen on an item of clothing someone else is wearing. | 2 | 837897 | $18.67 |
| Spilling semen on your someone else's bare skin. | 3 | 837897 | $23.23 |
| Rolling around in the mud alone and fully clothed. | 4 | 3686986 | $143.43 |
| Having sex with someone while rolling in the mud. | 2 | 376498688 | $97.98 |
| Having group sex in the mud. | 1 | 576948698 | $96.34 |
| Having sex with barnyard animals in the mud. | 1 | 49719827 | $49.50 |
| Unintentionally drooling on any part of your body other than your genitals. | 2 | 3879 | $16.25 |
| Unintentionally drooling on your genitals. | 3 | 3879 | $20.19 |
| Intentionally spitting on any part of your body other than your genitals. | 3 | 3879 | $20.19 |
| Intentionally spitting on your genitals. | 4 | 3879 | $30.22 |
Sin Dispensations |
